Are you hoping to learn how to manage anxiety?
In general, anxiety is the body’s response to situations that are interpreted as threatening. We all need anxiety to a certain degree as it helps us make decisions, such as “need to prepare well for a job interview, need to drive carefully in the rain, or going on your first date.” However, when we allow too much anxiety it can lead to overthinking, ruminating on unhealthy thoughts, and leads to cognitive distortions and dysfunction in our daily lives.
Examples of cognitive distortions:
All or nothing thinking – sometimes called black and white thinking. (e.g.) If I’m not perfect I have failed. Either I do it right the first time or not at all.
Mental filter – Only paying attention to certain types of evidence. (e.g.) Noticing our failures but not seeing our successes.
Jumping to conclusions – There are two key types of jumping to conclusions
1. Mind reading – imagining we know what others are thinking
2. Fortune telling – predicting the future
Emotional reasoning – Assuming that because we feel a certain way what we think must be true. (e.g.) I feel embarrassed so I must be an idiot)
Labeling – Assigning labels to ourselves or other people. (e.g.) I’m a loser. I’m completely useless. They’re such an idiot.
Overgeneralizing – Seeing a pattern based upon a single event, or being overly broad in the conclusions we draw. (e.g.) nothing good ever happens, bad things always happen to me
Disqualifying the positive – Discounting the good things that have happened or that you have done for some reason or another. (e.g.) That doesn’t count. Anyone could have done that.
Magnification/Catastrophizing/Minimization – Blowing things out of proportion, or inappropriately shrinking something to make it seem less important.
Should/Must – Using critical words like, ‘should, must, ought’ can make us feel guilty or like we have already failed. If we apply ‘shoulds’ to other people the result is often frustration.
Practical Applications
Some questions you can ask yourself when it seems like you are experiencing these cognitive distortions that lead to anxiety.
1. What are 3 things that trigger your anxiety?
2. What are the 3 physical symptoms that you experience when you feel anxious?
3. What are 3 thoughts you tend to have when you feel anxious?
4. What are 3 things you do to cope when you are anxious?
Strategies and Tools
There are several strategies that I introduce in my sessions.
1. Hula hoop
Imagine I am the only one in the hula hoop for this exercise.
Within the hula hoop, I have the capacity to control/change: what I think, say, do, and believe.
Anything outside of the hula is considered others/or outside of your capacity to control/change. This means I need to consider letting them go.
2. What I think about?
Thinking too much about the future: (e.g.) What ifs…
Thinking too much about the past: (e.g.) I could have, should have…
When we think too much about the future and the past, we neglect our today. Today is what we have the capacity to control or change.
3. Putting thoughts on trial
A persistent negative thought that leads to anxiety.
Imagine putting that thought on trial: One side is true/relevant to what is happening today. The other side is false/irrelevant to what is happening today. With the false/irrelevant you will often find yourself making assumptions and conclusions.
These 3 strategies above oftentimes work together!
If you are experiencing overwhelming ruminating thoughts that cause dysfunction in your daily life, and considering therapy for anxiety, please feel free to reach me at: www.healstrivethrivecounseling.com.
You can also email me directly: kyong@healstrivethrivecounseling.com
I look forward to meeting you!
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